Scotland Itinerary

So, one reason I wanted to resume blogging was to showcase some of the super fun itineraries I've created for travel in Europe. We are beyond thrilled at how easy it is to travel here. And it is relatively inexpensive compared to Beijing. By that, I mean that food and hotels is EXPENSIVE. But, the travel costs are low. Especially if we can drive. And attractions are often free or low-priced as well. There are family passes available and many museums here are free for children or students. My Scotland itinerary was developed with the help of some friends who had already been there, done that. I really appreciated their advice and feedback. It made the trip much more cohesive and interesting. I'm breaking this post into 2 installments: Edinburgh and then the Highlands.

Day 1 - Ferry from Amsterdam to Newcastle. Boarding time is 2:30-4:30, ferry leaves at 5:00. So, I didn't know many people that had done this, but thought that it would be great if we could take the overnight ferry so that we didn't have to drive all the way through England to get to Scotland. Newcastle is only a few hours from Edinburgh so this gives us a big head start. It turned out to be a wonderful idea. The boat was clean, they had family rooms for 5 and the food was good albeit very expensive. They even had a play area for children with a ball pit where Violet made friends. We all slept very soundly and arrived the next morning ready to go.

Chris' reminder in the car so we could remember where we should look.

Tight fit, but yes, 5 people will fit here. There is another bed above mine where Chris slept.





Sunset at sea

Day 2 - arrive Newcastle 9:30 a.m., drive to Edinburgh (3 hours and 14 minutes), Stop at Melrose Abby (covered by explorer), arrive and check in to
The Knight Residence By Mansley Serviced Apartment.

This day is pretty self-explanatory. We bought an explorer pass for the family, which covered admission to many of Scotland's sights including Edinburgh castle. This was well worth it. You also get to skip the lines and just walk right up with your pass. Melrose Abbey was beautiful and isolated and a really nice respite from the drive. Once we got checked into our hotel - which was amazing and one that I highly recommend - we headed right down the street to Mary's Milk Bar for hot chocolate floats. Those were every bit as delicious as you might think. We did a bit of grocery shopping that evening and looked around Old Town. Chris and I debated heading out after we got the kids settled for a whisky flight, but were just too exhausted!






Day 3 - We woke up early to tackle Edinburgh Castle. We even stayed to hear them fire the "One O'Clock Gun" across the city. We walked along the Royal Mile, ate at a place called Frankenstein's (kid-friendly but unremarkable) and then headed to Arthur's Seat for a hike. Now, one thing I hadn't fully accounted for is the fact that it would start getting dark every day by 3:30. We were at Arthur's Seat around 2:30. There appeared to be a lengthy path up, but we were concerned we might not make it before sunset. Alex, with my support, then decided that we could take the path less traveled. You know, the one that went straight up the side of the mountain. This was a fast, terrifying, extremely difficult way to get up the mountain. But, I'm happy to say that we all made it. Whether or not this was an appropriate way to get up the hill is the subject of some debate. After seeing sunrise, we headed home and stumbled across Violet's favorite park anywhere. It had a zip line and she could have spent hours there in the dark and cold. The rest of us were not so inclined. We grabbed fish and chips and headed home where we collapsed.














We were all sweaty and red and asked a hapless passer-by to snap a pic





This was really much worse than it looks here. By the end we were on our hands and knees grabbing for grass.

Day 4 - We spent the morning at the (free) National Museum of Scotland which did a good job giving us a bit of background into the place. It also had a dress-up room and lots of nature stuff for kids. We had lunch near the Elephant Bar - this was where JK Rowling wrote Harry Potter - because the actual Bar was too crowded to seat us. We then wandered about Greyfriar Kirk to attempt to find the Tom Riddle grave.That evening we did a Mercat Ghost Tour of an underground vault where people in Edinburgh once lived and worked. When the city build bridges, these vaults were covered up and unused for centuries. It was interesting, but not our favorite thing. I think we would have preferred a straight up history tour without the ghost stuff.



Alex is a big fan of Irn-Bru



The remnants of the old Edinburgh city walls







This little dog sat by his master's grave for 14 years



Dress up at the museum



This sweet store had the BEST tablet!

Introverts and the Expat Life

So, having survived our first official FS transition, this subject is near and dear to my heart.  Merriam-Webster defines an introvert as "a shy person : a quiet person who does not find it easy to talk to other people.'  I think introverts CAN learn to talk easily to others and don't always even present as terribly shy. Many learn coping skills and can turn "on" a more outgoing persona when required.  I've learned this over time. At our core though, we find being around other people draining and need time alone to recharge.

Extroverts are a distinct minority in the expat and FS community.  I think the reasons for this are fairly obvious.  Transitions are hard for introverts, they often dislike change and the idea of having to make all new friends every few years is often more horrifying than exciting for this personality type. BUT, just like among extroverts, there are all different types of introverts. I dread change, but I seek it out.  I dislike making new friends, but a clean slate is really exciting.  I think there are definite advantages to this personality type in this lifestyle.  I don't mind being alone.  In fact, I love it.  This can make the isolation that is a definite part of this life something far less burdensome than it is for more sociable people.

I married another introvert AND we are raising 3 introverted kids.  Parenting as an introvert is another interesting topic that I haven't seen fully explored anywhere.  It means that you are always "on".  The ability to turn inwards into yourself and recharge AWAY from others simply doesn't exist.  Especially when they are little and around 24/7. I also struggle with my own tendencies and to have to address them in my kids is pretty difficult.  I dislike making phone calls, for example, but this is generally required in order to be a functioning adult. I also dislike situations where I have to deal with customer service at the phone company, bank, etc. etc.  I will avoid these situations like the plague.  But, once again, they are an essential part of being a functioning adult. So, I do them.  And yes, this lifestyle increases these types of interactions by a thousand-fold.  I know the challenges are good for me, but they can be a definite struggle. Thankfully, a lot of tasks can be accomplished over email nowadays.  This mitigates some of the sting for introverts and allows them to complete the tasks without some of the anxiety that these situations can provoke.  Especially when a different language is involved.

I recently read the book Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. I really thought I knew pretty much everything you could know about my personality type.  Turns out, I didn't.  I highly recommend this book for introverts or family members of introverts or extroverts who are curious about the "other side."  It discusses the latest educational models in schools that focus heavily on group projects.  Although these do teach valuable skills about how to get along with others, these types of models typically favor extroverts. Introverts often do not shine in these types of projects. Cubicles and "group think" type environments, which are very trendy in business environments, also are not a great fit for many introverts.  Introverts do their best work and make their most valuable contributions when they have time and space alone to recharge.  I'm a bossy introvert who was very strong academically.  As such, I often functioned as the leader in these types of projects.  But, when it came time to present, I would beg a more extroverted classmate to actually stand up in front of the class.
 

Anyways, it is both interesting and horrifying to watch your own kids begin to navigate the social/emotional world.  To find their fit, what works best for them, how they address their social needs while maintaining their space.  At our previous post, socialization wasn't an option. It came to you.  We lived in a compound where you ran into neighbors at the grocery store, the bus stop, the gym, the pool.  Making friends was extremely easy, even for introverts.  People, quite literally, would meet you somewhere and invite you all over right then and there on the spot.  That was, indeed, our experience on our very first day at the bus stop in Beijing.  At this post, you make your own fun and you make your own friends.  Ample opportunities for socializing exist through the school and the embassy community, but nobody is going to grab you and pretty much force you to socialize. I don't think any of us are terribly lonely. BUT, we don't socialize that much either. It is definitely harder to establish a safety net of friends that you can call in an emergency.  There are definitely lovely people here that would help me if I HAVE to call, but not those friends that you know will help without even asking.  Not yet, anyways.  This is on me. I have to do better at getting out and connecting.  

I think one big difference between struggling with introversion as an adult instead of as a child is that I KNOW what is going on and what steps should be taken to fix it. I know which things have to be done versus being choices.  Kids don't have this insight yet.  I applaud all of my children's courage every time they start a new school and begin this process all over again.  It is so terrifying and I know it is so difficult for them.  I think and hope it is giving them more courage and resiliency.  Their nature won't change, but their confidence in their abilities can and will evolve. 

Playing around in a phone booth, but I really hate the phone:)

Catch up on 2014

My Google Photos app made this fun movie of our 2014.  Our big trips are well-represented here.  In 2015, we didn't do much.  Except, you know, move;)  Just thought I'd share.

2014

Europe With Kids

We have lived in Europe before - 20 years ago - gulp!  At that time, I was single or newly married.  I did not have children. Now I do. 3 of them.  Teens and a grade-schooler. Thankfully, I no longer have anybody in high chairs or strollers because those would be pretty impossible here. Young, single and/or newly married folks love to wander about the streets without an agenda.  They love to people watch and experience new and novel sights and sounds.  They enjoy sitting in a coffee shop sipping a cafe au lait or a chocolate chaud.  For very long periods of time.  They like boat rides, touring churches and admiring works of art in a museum.  Ah, can't you just see the quaint cobblestone roads of Europe and the winding rivers and picturesque cathedrals?....Now, insert children into the picture.  "This is so boring."  "What are we doing here?"  "I've seen churches before." "It is just a tower, a stupid tower."  "Where are we gooooooing?"!

So, the whole serendipity and wandering thing doesn't work out that well.  At least not with my children.  Perhaps it will with yours.  Mine very much like having an agenda and a purpose to the day.  Even if that purpose is a museum, this is apparently much better than having NO purpose.  Now, as you know, I've traveled with mine before. Like all through Asia.  However, Asia isn't typically a leisurely, "wander-about and let the spirit take you" type of place.  It is a full-on onslaught of sights, sounds and smells that will leave you reeling. Or it is a beach resort in Bali or Thailand where everyone is happy because there is water to splash in and mango to eat.

After an ill-fated trip to Bruges where our family pretty much bickered our way through the city, I've revised by entire take on how we do European cities.  And, I'm happy to say that my formula has been quite successful.  With the new and improved formula, we have spent days and days in Scotland, France and Belgium with relatively happy kids - and happy parents as well. We even attempted another trip to Bruges and it was MUCH more successful.

My secret formula - always, always plan out your day.  Like in detail. I'm pretty sure my family might call it "annoying detail" but it helps us see the sights in an organized fashion. Do not go somewhere if you cannot find some type of activity to fill in the time.  Seriously.  Yes, it might be the loveliest village ever but if there is no museum/zoo/castle, you will all be miserable. It is even better if there is something active they can do - hike a mountain. climb a zillion steps to a belfry. Pretty much anything with lots of steps is good.  Get tickets to major attractions ahead of time if you suspect crowds.  This is a HUGE one. Otherwise, you will waste long periods in line and you will ALL be miserable. If you can look ahead on Tripadvisor and figure out some food stops, this is even better.  Food makes most things better. You should also never arrive at your location hungry because this leads to ill-advised dining decisions.  Ask Chris about his hamburger in Ypres....Oh, final tip.  Boat rides should be short and sweet. 

Not enough food or activity

Happy at the start of this boat ride...

Boat ride gone bad...

Alex - in Amsterdam where we did a boat ride and the Van Gogh museum

Durbuy, a lovely small Belgian town with a topiary park, a market and a castle.

Teens often don't look happy, but secretly are.  They tell their friends how cool something was LATER.

Um, what do you say - but sorry!

Dear Diary - or blogosphere - or whatever,
It has been almost 2 years since my last blog post!  Did we fall off the Great Wall?  Choke to death on the pollution?  On the contrary, I can assure you that we are all alive and well.  And I've once again got some motivation to make something of this blog. Honestly. I love to write. I should be capable of at least updating this weekly. I also have a lot to say. For an introvert, anyways;)  Well, for one thing, we are no longer in China!  We left last May and are now living in sunny Brussels.  Okay, maybe not so sunny.  But amazing and quite home-like.  We all love it here and have taken advantage of this opportunity to travel to the Netherlands, the UK (Ah, Scotland), Germany and France.  We haven't hit Luxembourg yet, but that is a day trip and very much on my agenda.  Our trusty Sienna arrived and we've been road-tripping fools. In fact, I'm quite thrilled to say that I've been here 5 months and haven't had to fly once! I'll end this "welcome back" post with a few pics of our new home.  The peeing boy is well represented here.  Kids keep growing up.  Alex will graduate in 18 months, which is unbelievably shocking.  Ethan is a full-on teenager and Violet is a tweenish 3rd grader.  Life just keeps on chugging along.

Vietnam: Sa Pa

So, somewhere in the process of planning our trip, I became a bit obsessed with visiting Sa Pa.  This part of Vietnam sits far in the mountains of the northwest, right across the border from China.  It is the coldest part of Vietnam and a land of misty mountains, waterfalls and rice terraces.  Lots of ethnic minority tribes such as the Dao, Hmong and Tay live in the mountains here.  The French settled in the area around the turn of the 20th century so the region has many villas, monasteries and other remnants of the French colonial period.  Due to its current popularity with tourists, the city is a thriving hub for trekkers. There are tons of fancy foreigners with state-of-the art trekking poles and equipment. You can hire a local guide to take you around the paths that wind through villages in the area.  I heard a lot of good things about Sapa O'Chau, a local minority-owned company, that offers guided tours and homestays. After some discussion, our family decided to book their Red Dao homestay tour. The Red Dao are known for their herbal medicine -- specifically herbal baths.  After a hard day of trekking through the hills, the idea of taking a hot herbal bath appealed to us.

Actually getting to Sa Pa involved an overnight train trip to the city of Lao Cai.  The train, called the Sapaly Express, was definitely the nicest train I have ever been on.  Each cabin had 4 sleeping berths and we were able to book 2 full cabins so that our family of 7 were the only ones in the cabin. 

Seriously, how nice is this train?

Once in Lao Cai, we were treated to the absolutely scariest minibus drive of my life.  The driver of our van crammed 3 of his buddies into the front of the van.  He then proceeded to drive like a crazy person around hairpin curves into the mountains -- all while wrestling with his buddies and taking cell phone calls every 3 minutes.  Seriously ya'll.  I was pretty sure death was imminent and that I had brought my children and parents along on a death trip.  However, obviously we made it to Sa Pa all in once piece. We ate breakfast at the Sapa O'Chau cafe and met our lovely guide Sue.  She is a Black Hmong mother of 4 who works for Sapa O'Chau.  She was tiny -- just a few inches taller than Violet -- but a real powerhouse.  She carried a basket with all of our food provisions. She also kindly asked if we were both vegetarian and glutein-free (just one vegetarian, thank you).  The modern times are definitely here even in the wilds of Vietnam.  We then set forth for a day of trekking.  We saw little baby pigs, chickens and ducks and water buffalo everywhere. We walked about 7 hours on the first day, much of it over hilly areas.  A group of Black Hmong ladies followed us in hopes that we would buy their handicrafts when we stopped to rest.  They "helped" my mom through some of the hillier areas -- although whether they helped or hindered is debatable. 

The proud hikers

Sa Pa and its downtown lake

Vi with some local Black Hmong girls

Our family and the helpers

At the end of our hike, we arrived at the Red Dao house where we were to stay the night.  We were exhausted at that point.  I will admit that carrying heavy packs with our provisions for the overnight stay definitely felt overwhelming by the time we arrived at our host family's house.  It had also been a day or so since we had been able to shower.  Dinner and a hot herbal bath were most welcome.  The bath was taken in huge wooden barrels filled with steeped herbs and hot water. The funny thing is that you sat naked in the tub behind a curtain strung across the kitchen while everyone sat right outside chatting by the fire. The family cooked the meals over an open fire old-fashioned cook stove inside the house. We met another Black Hmong guide and a young British couple at the dinner table and tried some rice wine.  After dinner, there was a surreal moment when our hostess stuck a buffalo horn on her forehead! I was wondering if we were to become part of some type of Dao ritual, but it turns out that it was a headache remedy. Whew!  I was so tired that I and most of my children fell asleep by 8:30.  

Breakfast the next morning was a lovely revelation.  Due to the French influence, the Vietnamese serve crepes as a breakfast food.  Banana crepes and instant coffee were so much better than what I imagine we might be served at a Chinese homestay.  We were so happy for the concept of breakfast:)  After eating far too many crepes, we bid our host family adieu and set forth for the village of Ta Phinn where we were to meet our transport van back to Sa Pa.  The hike on the second day was only 5 hours.  Along the way we met a group of Black Hmong girls who were out with their machetes(!) cutting things down for their parents.  We shared our fruit and some of our bread from our picnic lunch with them.  Our guide said that kids in the mountains only get fruit 1-2 times a year so it is a rare treat for them.  We were happy we could share. Once in town, we had enough time for a quick foot massage (Violet, mom and I) and a shower (the menfolk) and then we took a minibus back to Lao Cai to catch the night train again.  

Our guide Sue.  Tiny but strong and resourceful.

Hello water buffalo!

Our host Phmong May who is Red Dao and our guide Sue in front of the homestay

3 little piggies lived in the yard -- so cute!

Our view from the homestay

Our room

I'm sure the bridge was perfectly safe.

Vietnam

So, I bet you thought you might never hear from me again!  I really, really meant to keep and update my blog, but I've started working part-time.  That, plus the sheer craziness and busyness of 3 school-aged kids, has pretty much knocked me out of the running lately.  This working outside the home business is taking some getting used to, for sure. I promise, we don't spend our lives here on vacation.  And I have plenty to say about mundane - but never-boring- daily life in Beijing.  I'm going to try hard to recommit to posting at least once a month.  So, if you know me, do try to nudge me along to make me stick to my promise.

In the meantime, I definitely want to blog about our trip to Vietnam.  My dad served in Vietnam during the war, many many eons ago.  He told us stories about the country when we were kids.  Not gory war stories although I'm certain he has plenty of those.  Rather, he would talk about the beauty of the people and places that he encountered there.  Vietnam and its' people and places fascinated me.  I always thought that it would be amazing to see it, but wasn't sure I would ever do so. My dad also talked about returning, but I'm pretty sure he didn't think it would ever really happen either.  So, when my parents started planning a trip to visit us here in China, we decided that it would be very fun to meet in Vietnam for a week, then go on to China for a week.  Like a great Asian adventure.  Since Vietnam has a lot to see and we only had a week, I let my dad choose between the south and the north.  He decided to go north since that was a part that he didn't see when he was posted here (thank goodness since Americans in the north typically stayed at the Hanoi Hilton).  He spent his time traveling between Hue and Da Nang in the south.

The family nominated me as vacation planner.  So, after consulting Tripadvisor and friends that had recently returned from Vietnam, I mapped out an aggressive itinerary that focused primarily on Sapa in the northwest and Halong Bay in the Gulf of Tonkin.  We based ourselves out of Hanoi, but didn't plan to spend more than a day or so in the city.  Our trip involved homestays with ethnic minorities, luxury cruise boats, overnight trains and plenty of buses, taxis and automobiles in between.

I'll do each leg of the journey as a separate blog post with pictures so you can see the different areas. The short version is that we all LOVED Vietnam and had a great time.  We also had a pretty adventurous and active itinerary. I'm thrilled that my parents and my children did a great job keeping up.  We didn't spend a single night in the same place.  And we hiked over 12 hours.

Here is a brief preview of what the Old Quarter Hanoi is like. This was right in front of our hotel.  Craziness!  Cars also use this road, amazingly enough.  So glad I wasn't driving there.